Navigating the Holidays

Navigating the Holidays

The holidays are coming fast!  In fact, as I write this, Christmas Eve is just 12 days away....less than 2 weeks. Every busy, working Mom has challenges at this time of year, but for those of us parenting in the special needs world, it's even more so. Let's face it. Parenting a special needs child leaves little time for much else.  Their needs don't change because it's Christmas.  They don't understand concepts such as "wait", "later", "in a minute" and sometimes they don't even care that "Santa is watching, so you should make good choices!"  My child has often said, "I don't care" in response to my statement that "Santa isn't going to leave you any toys if you keep destroying the ones you have."  He wants what he wants immediately and he doesn't want to wait on Christmas.

This is quite challenging when all you want to do is make things fun for your child and maybe enjoy the holiday a little yourself.  This year I did what I consider an extremely brave thing.  I took my son to Sesame Place for the Christmas event ALL BY MYSELF!  I rarely take him on day trips by myself because it is difficult to entertain him and keep him happy while I am driving. Let me preface this by saying, we had one of the BEST days EVER!!  It was amazing and he was a very good boy.  Minor tantrums, yes, but nothing unmanageable. That said, the day was not without its struggles. Not only did it present an energy challenge, but it presented a challenge to my behavior management skills.  Had I reacted differently to any one instance, the whole day could have gone down the tubes.  Does anyone else feel like that?  Like the house of cards can come tumbling down at a moment's notice? Say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing or even do all of the right things....sometimes you just never know.  With my child in particular, the oppositional behavior  seeps into everything we do.  "Chris, let's go have lunch with Santa!"  "I don't like Santa. I don't want to go." - Well, we paid for the tickets so we are going.  Not going? Not an option.  I drove 2.5 hours to bring this child to see Santa. We are going to see Santa.

Does this look like a child who doesn't want to see Santa?

This was our day. A series of I don’t want tos followed my Mom’s insistence that we are going to. But, the look on his face when we were actually in the moment? Priceless. 

I'd say this was a child who was completely in awe of the show he didn't want to see!

Sometimes we have to push ourselves and our children through our fears and our reluctance to get where we want to go.  I keep trying to tell Christopher that he will miss out on so much if he is constantly saying no to everything. And then I tell him, "Mommy's always right!"  LOL!!

I'm so glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and took this trip. Such a great way to start the Christmas season!!!

Is there something holding you back from doing a fun event with your child?  Are you afraid he will have a meltdown?  Are you afraid you will have a meltdown?   Don't let fear prevent you from having a little fun.  It really is ok if it doesn't work out. Next time, you will do it differently. But, if we don't keep trying to bring our children to participate in the world, they will never learn to participate in the world. We have to provide as many opportunities as we can.  Some will fail miserably. But others will be great learning experiences and make wonderful memories. Step out in faith this holiday season. Take a chance on your child and on yourself. You CAN manage whatever it is. So, schedule that holiday visit, go to that party, enjoy the Christmas lights. Skip the things which you KNOW will be a trigger but if you aren’t sure, take a chance. You may be surprised!!! Happy celebrating!